You Can Call Me Al
by threesummerdays
Summary: A visit to the Oscars that has some confusion, some humor, and a whole lot of S/P love. One-shot.


Penny gripped Sheldon's hand tighter as they neared the doors. His long fingers intertwined themselves in hers and she smiled up at him. He looked down at her and smiled gently back. As they bathed in each other's loving gazes, camera flashes went off and captured the moment.

In the back of her mind, Penny was hoping they got the good side of her dress, the one with the detailing she had fallen in love with. It made her laugh to think of the day they went shopping. When he was fifteen, Sheldon had gone with Missy to choose her prom dress, but a prom dress was certainly different than one worn at the Academy Awards. His choices originally included those possessing enormous bows and taffeta. After Penny explained the importance of the night to him, he began picking out sleeker gowns and eventually found the one she chose. It was a burgundy masterpiece. He immediately pointed out the delicate lace and beadwork.

"Probably created by some starving, underpaid child in China," he said disgustedly.

"I don't care," Penny had responded, "it's beautiful."

Once they had paid for the dress ("I don't pay that much for _lab equipment_!" he had exclaimed. "The school pays for your equipment," she retorted), they ventured into the men's department. It had taken over an hour to find any tuxedo that came close to fitting him, even in the tall section. Finally, they found one that would fit his long arms _and_ legs ("Success!" Penny thought to herself). She had dreamed of him wearing a clean looking black tux with white shirt and black tie. He had surprised her by accepting, as he called it, her "White Shirt Postulation," but substituting, in place of the "Black Tie Conjecture," the "Matching the Date Hypothesis." Somehow he managed to surprise her by keeping the secret that he had found a tie that matched her dress perfectly. Penny had a sneaking suspicion that he had special ordered it from someone who matched colors as anally as he did.

But now it didn't matter how he had done it. What mattered was that they looked incredible. Some of Penny's costars, mostly the ones who were fighting her for the lead role in the next installment of the movie series, ventured to say she was the most beautiful starlet there. She smiled and waved the compliments away although she was quick to tell Sheldon she was certainly not.

"Look at Angelina," she had said, tilting her head across the room. "How can I ever hope to be as beautiful as that?"

"True, by Western popular culture standards, you will be unable to reach that level of popularity and attractiveness," Sheldon said, leaning his head toward hers so she could hear him better. Penny's face crumpled instantly as she sighed heavily. Sheldon squeezed her hand.

"You didn't allow me to finish," he had whispered. "_I _think you're the most beautiful woman here. Plus, you're the only one with whom I am able to hold a conversation that is even remotely interesting."

She had smiled at that and stretched up to softly kiss him. It was still odd to her that she was able to do that. He was so against public displays of affection that for the first two years of their dating, he had insisted on remaining at the regular "friend distance." After she began to pick up fans from her blossoming film career, he became more accepting of displaying his love. She insisted there was a connection, often saying smugly, "You're not jealous, are you?" He refused to acknowledge any such mortal weakness and had told her, "I simply believe that we have finally reached the point in our relationship in which it is appropriate to display our affection." She had grinned at him. He was jealous.

He had kept a firm hand latched onto her throughout the awards ceremony. They both applauded politely when movies hers was up against won, stood and applauded enthusiastically when her crew took awards, and kissed sweetly when she missed the Best Supporting Actress award. She had been invited to the after party and accepted gratefully, although she worried about Sheldon. It had been a stretch to get him to agree to come to the awards with her ("There will be screaming fans all over." "Well, I suppose I can pry myself away from my research for one evening." "Jealous."). She couldn't even imagine what he'd do for a whole other party, but he'd agreed wholeheartedly and now, as they approached the doors, she felt him stiffen.

"I love you," she murmured.

He smiled at her and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I love you, too."

As they entered the party, Penny's breath melted away. The women who had previously been wearing dresses that took up two seats themselves had changed into smooth, shape-fitting, slitted dresses and the men's ties were all loosened. Penny turned to Sheldon, her eyes filled with questions.

"I refuse to loosen my tie like a schoolboy at a dance," he said stiffly. "A tie is meant to be worn close to the neck. That is where mine shall remain."

"My dress is all wrong," Penny whispered, leaning unconsciously into him for comfort. His hand slipped out of hers and wrapped around her waist protectively.

"You look stunning," he said. Just as he was about to steal a kiss, the hostess came up to them.

"Oh, wonderful, you made it!" she cried, flinging her arms around Penny. "I'm so glad!" came next as she hugged Sheldon.

Penny grinned and watched him squirm, trying to find a way out of the situation. As she was about to pull him out of the woman's grip, the hostess turned to her friends near Penny.

"Guys, this is Betty and her husband Al."

Penny looked directly at Sheldon. She could see his laughter building inside of him, ready to burst. Instead she turned, smiled at the friends, and began the long night of congratulations.

At around 3 a.m., Penny's eyes were beginning to droop. Somewhere around 1 a.m., she had lost Sheldon in the crowd. She leaned against the bar, waving the bartender off and pointing to her bottled water, and tried to surreptitiously slide her feet out of her heels.

"I believe I did inform you of the possibility that those shoes would cause you to vesicate."

The voice comforted her and she turned to find him standing there, hands tucked lightly into his pockets as he stared at her. She felt his gaze drift around her, carefully inspecting every part of her. She was suddenly conscious of her hair falling haphazardly around her face and the sweat that she was certain was visible to anyone around her. It was amazing that someone made her feel self-conscious. It was even more amazing that it was only him. It had always been just him. Whenever he looked at her, though, she was sure he was seeing something wrong with her. She had just moved her hand to push her curls behind her ear when he strode toward her, catching her hand in his.

"I like it the way it was, Betty," he said, smiling slightly.

"Thanks, Al."

They stared at each other contentedly, her imagining falling asleep in his arms as soon as they made it back to the apartment, him thinking of how he could show her how important she was to him. He had been unable to communicate his pride all night. The way she carried herself among her "superiors" (although no one could ever be superior to her in _his_ mind) made his chest swell. The way she delicately maneuvered out of the awkward situations that were sure to exist ("Here, let me introduce you to the person who beat you for the award…") made his heart pound. The way she looked at him made him want to cry with joy. Watching her look sleepily up at him made up his mind.

Sheldon held out a hand, which Penny took carefully. He squeezed gently and pulled her toward him. She collided softly with his chest. That alone was enough to send his scientific mind spinning, but when she raised her free hand to press against his heart, he knew he was hers. He had known that it was her, had always been her, who was going to steal his heart. The first moment of their meeting had determined that.

Reminiscing silently on that first day, Sheldon barely noticed Penny tugging at his jacket. He glanced down, obviously in his own world. She jerked her head suggestively toward the door. Smiling, he nodded and led her out to the car. As they reached the lot, someone came running up behind them.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Cooper?"

Penny turned to find one of the younger actresses (she could only be about fifteen by Sheldon's reckoning) holding out a napkin and a pen.

"Is there any chance you could sign this? My brother is a _huge_ fan of yours." She looked slightly embarrassed to be asking for a fellow actor's autograph, but Penny just laughed.

"Sure thing. What's his name?"

"Peter."

Penny smiled and wrote out something on the napkin. She handed it back to the girl and said, "Hope that's okay."

"It's great. Thanks so much, Mrs. Cooper."

As she ran back into the party, Penny turned to Sheldon.

"Peter. It's perfect."

"Please elaborate."

Penny lifted her dress carefully as she stepped lightly on the sidewalk. "You wanted a name that would remind you of me, so there you go. Peter and Penny both start with 'P.'"

"Thank you for your assistance in rudimentary alphabet information, but I am not certain Peter is the best option." He looked down at her with a twinkle in his eye. "Besides, your name is Betty."

"Thanks, Al." Something clicked. "Allie. Peter and Allison."

Sheldon stopped in his tracks. Penny turned back and looked at him.

"I approve."

"Of what? Allie or Peter?"

"Both," he said simply, catching up to her in one fluid motion. He captured her hand in his grip and pulled her to the car door. "I think all four of us need to get home to bed."

"I couldn't agree more, Dr. Cooper." Penny tilted her head back for a kiss. Sheldon leaned in and kissed her like she hadn't felt before. Maybe it was the hormones racing through her system or maybe it was just a new kiss. Whatever it was, he could do it anytime he felt like it.

As she climbed into the car and pulled the seatbelt on ("It gets tighter every day!" "You're growing larger every day." "Shut up, Sheldon!"), he stepped into the driver's seat. He still scared her stiff, but he was getting better. He turned on the car, checked the mirrors, and checked the dashboard's lights ("The 'check engine' light is _still_ on, Penny." "It's fine. It's been like that for years.").

Sheldon was pulling on his belt when he noticed Penny staring out her window. He felt a sudden wave of concern about her happiness. He knew being mistaken for another person was bad enough in everyday society, but at the Oscar after party after being nominated for an award… he could only imagine the embarrassment. He reached out his hand, his long fingers dancing gently on her arm.

"Did the mistaken identity bother you?" Sheldon asked, his voice full of concern.

Penny turned back to face him, an enormous smile on her face. "Penny and Sheldon, Betty and Al, it doesn't matter as long as I'm with you."

He smiled back at her and finished clicking his belt into place. He reached out and adjusted the radio, tuning it to one of her favorite stations. As he turned up the volume, the song came on.

_If you'll be my bodyguard,_

_I can be your long lost pal._

_I can call you Betty,_

_And Betty, when you call me,_

_You can call me Al._

Author's Note: So one of my friends got me hooked on Simon and Garfunkel and then I listened to Paul Simon on his own. Okay, awesome. One of my favorite songs that was "You Can Call Me Al," so when I read the story behind the song, it made me think immediately of Penny and Sheldon.


End file.
